There are few statements that leave you completely stumped, at other times you want to shoot eith3er yourself or the sayer. Here are some of those:
1. I: "yaar, mere ko 3 assignment, 2 files, 4 test paper aur 9 experiment likhne hai"
Sam: "ghabra mat yaar, mer pass (CD)writer hai na!!!"
2. VP(Copying Hulk):"Now you are making me angry. You won't like me when I am angry."
Sandy:"I don't like you anyways!!!"
3. Him: "yaar, abhi rainbow nikla hoga! Jab mein Gujrat mein tha to maine kai bar rainbow dekha tha.Mumbai mein ek bar bhi nahin dekha!"
Sidbha: "haan , woh (rainbow) shift ho gaya na!"
4. BSL: "yaar apna pehle weight bhadha, jab mein Pulsar seekh raha tha to mujhse bhi bike control nahin hoti thi. Main do baar gira, fir aadat ho gayi"
Him: " Sahi hai, ab girne ki aadat ho gayi hai!!!"
5. At 3:00 am, Somebody said: "Look at DD, he does everything according to his routine."
Just then his alarm started ringing .
I: "ya, it's his time to wake up and pee!!!"
6. Somebody asked, "what are you going to do with your first salary?"
Him: "will buy a new mobile"
I: "Will buy a washing machine!"
BSL: "So, what Sidbha does with his salary?"
Aj: "Aishwarya(bar) .... daru...IB...quarter"
I: "Nahin, iske salary se iske dost girlfriend patate hai woh bhi iski!!!"
7. My biology teacher: "The heart makes a "Lupp" and "Dupp" sound due to closing and opening of its valves at every Systole and Distole. It's not "Dhak Dhak" as popularly believed."
I: Mam, then the song should be " Main jo sochoon teri baat jiyera lupp-dup lupp-dup bole"
Mam:"yes you make such songs! Get out of the class!"
8. After being completely sloshed Sidbha, Aj, and Iwere sitting on a pavement near our flat arround 2:00-3:30 am.The watchman of the underconstruction tower building Starts hooting whistle from the other side of the road.
On every 1st whistle- Sidbha : Bhen****!
On every 2nd whistle- Aj : Madar*&@*!
On every 3rd whistle- I : Sala, Bhen*@$# ! Gay kahin ka! line mar raha hai sala!
citi marta hai! ghar mein bhai baap nahin hai kya?!!!
9. I: "Monu what happened? so many scratches on your face? and your eye looks a
little swollen?
Monu: "nothing!"
I: " Ok, I'll ask M*!" ( his gf)
Monu: "I'll tell you"
Here is what he told me!!
In the local zoo four filthy guyswere looking at M*
M* : "look at the way those guys are staring at me!"
Monu: "what can I do?" ( not that he can't do)
M* ( angrily): "yes what can you do? Even if they rape me, you won't do anything!
you'll sit and watch!!!"
Monu ( all charged up): "Tum kya mujhe Namard samajhti ho?"
M*( thinkin that she has overeacted sweetly says : " what can you do? They are four. ( Monu at that time was perhaps good enough for eight.)
Monu : Main boloonga, " Bhai sahab mere ko bhi ek chance plz!!!"
The rest is all understood!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
This is APJ
A lot has already been sad about the president and the presidential election. A.P.J Abdul Kalam has been severely criticized both for his work during his tenure and over his desire to continue for the second term, but is this all fair???
Well, it is democracy and everybody is entitled to have their own opinion, but burning effigies of the president and that two by two chief ministers is a bit going overboard. Isn't it?. He seems to have fallen out with both the UPA and the NDA, the only people supporting him is the Left front, which opposes anything for the sake of opposing!!! Ironically it was the same Left that had opposed his candidature the last time.
That's Indian politics and it is for the same reason APJ withdrew from contest. Still, the Media, the politicians even the blogger are not sparing him. So, here am I, yours truly, to his defence!!! Alright I heard that, "The last person that APJ needs for his defence is you". Fine by me, but remember I said its "Democracy"!!!
That's Indian politics and it is for the same reason APJ withdrew from contest. Still, the Media, the politicians even the bloggers are not sparing him. So, here am I, yours truly, to his defence!!! Alright I heard that, "The last person that APJ needs for his defence is you". Fine by me, but remember I said its "Democracy"!!!
Yesterday, I read an article by Vir Sangvi in HT, and true to his style he made Kalam a puppet president from People's president and the transition was so slow and subtle that u don't realise it and you start believing him.That's why he is among India's best.
Anyway, people say he had been a puppet prez and his performance is below par.. So if that's true can anyone just tell me, if he is really a puppet prez than why is congress not seeking its second term, After all a puppet person will bow to every whims and fantasy of 10 Janpath just' like Mr. Prime minister. And let me remind you the office of Profit Bill which everyone is talkin' about, is the FIRST BILL EVER TO HAVE BEEN RETURNED BY ANY PREZ.( gyan: courtsey HT )It was passed again with no changes and the maximum a prez could do was delay it. Why delay the inevitable?
I think he fell out of favour because having APJ as prez no longer fit into the UPA as well as NDA scheme. NDA had no Gujarat to cover up and UPA is no longer in opposition, so...So. So. So.....
The next thing I want to tell you, that he is that he is very much the people's prez.. and an ace manager with great administrating skills. Remember he was the chief scientific advisor and the way he kept Pokhran II a secret.
Now, I'll tell you a true incident, the first time Prez decided to visit Patna, Rabri government was in power. And true to their style they made roads as smooth as cheeks of "Hema Malini" and that to in jiffy, but there was one little problem the stretch was only from Airport to the Governor House, but served the purpose for it was all that was there in prez visit plan.
However our prez didn't bite the bait, he was too smart for them. At the last minute he would desire to see a place and you can't refuse a prez. can you? And Rabri government had no explanation for the anarchy as well as sharp contrast in the infrastructure. Unfortunately their ordeal was not going to be over yet. Our missile and few missiles left in his attack...
He happened to carry a list of complaints received from administrative sections and not to mention the failed and plagued government machinery. He personally visited them, listened to the problems, asked for explanations and gave them solutions.
This is APJ Abdul Kalam the people's president and I salute him. Got any problems?
Well, it is democracy and everybody is entitled to have their own opinion, but burning effigies of the president and that two by two chief ministers is a bit going overboard. Isn't it?. He seems to have fallen out with both the UPA and the NDA, the only people supporting him is the Left front, which opposes anything for the sake of opposing!!! Ironically it was the same Left that had opposed his candidature the last time.
That's Indian politics and it is for the same reason APJ withdrew from contest. Still, the Media, the politicians even the blogger are not sparing him. So, here am I, yours truly, to his defence!!! Alright I heard that, "The last person that APJ needs for his defence is you". Fine by me, but remember I said its "Democracy"!!!
That's Indian politics and it is for the same reason APJ withdrew from contest. Still, the Media, the politicians even the bloggers are not sparing him. So, here am I, yours truly, to his defence!!! Alright I heard that, "The last person that APJ needs for his defence is you". Fine by me, but remember I said its "Democracy"!!!
Yesterday, I read an article by Vir Sangvi in HT, and true to his style he made Kalam a puppet president from People's president and the transition was so slow and subtle that u don't realise it and you start believing him.That's why he is among India's best.
Anyway, people say he had been a puppet prez and his performance is below par.. So if that's true can anyone just tell me, if he is really a puppet prez than why is congress not seeking its second term, After all a puppet person will bow to every whims and fantasy of 10 Janpath just' like Mr. Prime minister. And let me remind you the office of Profit Bill which everyone is talkin' about, is the FIRST BILL EVER TO HAVE BEEN RETURNED BY ANY PREZ.( gyan: courtsey HT )It was passed again with no changes and the maximum a prez could do was delay it. Why delay the inevitable?
I think he fell out of favour because having APJ as prez no longer fit into the UPA as well as NDA scheme. NDA had no Gujarat to cover up and UPA is no longer in opposition, so...So. So. So.....
The next thing I want to tell you, that he is that he is very much the people's prez.. and an ace manager with great administrating skills. Remember he was the chief scientific advisor and the way he kept Pokhran II a secret.
Now, I'll tell you a true incident, the first time Prez decided to visit Patna, Rabri government was in power. And true to their style they made roads as smooth as cheeks of "Hema Malini" and that to in jiffy, but there was one little problem the stretch was only from Airport to the Governor House, but served the purpose for it was all that was there in prez visit plan.
However our prez didn't bite the bait, he was too smart for them. At the last minute he would desire to see a place and you can't refuse a prez. can you? And Rabri government had no explanation for the anarchy as well as sharp contrast in the infrastructure. Unfortunately their ordeal was not going to be over yet. Our missile and few missiles left in his attack...
He happened to carry a list of complaints received from administrative sections and not to mention the failed and plagued government machinery. He personally visited them, listened to the problems, asked for explanations and gave them solutions.
This is APJ Abdul Kalam the people's president and I salute him. Got any problems?
Friday, June 22, 2007
What's going on?
This post is not a rip off from the track of "Salam Namaste". It is actually a comment on the Idiosyncrasies of Indians.
Yesterday, I was watching TV thanks to the TV tuner card borrowed from Varun, and everywhere on the news channel flashed only one name actually two but I will come to that later. "Sunita"! "Sunita"!! "Sunita"!!!
" Who the hell is this Sunita ?", I thought. "Must be some new actress in some Ekta Kapoor Serials"! After watching the whole news I realized it isn't the "Sunita" of Ekta Kapoor, it's even worse, it being, She is "Sunita Williams"!!! Never for a moment I realized that they were talking about the "Sunita Williams"!!!
Now, let me be very clear, I have nothing against her and why should I? She has done a commendable job, I wish her a safe entry and many more success to come. She is the type of daughter that every mother would have! but that's it!!! Let it be the end, Why make her a demigod ? Why? She is given a treatment that even Neil Armstrong would crave for?
And that exactly is my problem, we are obsessed with people of Indian Origin? We go Ga-Ga over their success and make them demigod and what do they do in return? They spit on our face?
"V.S Naipaul" oh he is such a great writer! he is fabulous! bull- shit at my prime I could write better than him! and that's not bragging it's just being modest. Anyway how does he react to our appreciation. To quote him, " 30 years ago Indians were just not literate enough to appreciate my writing". Fucker what's there to appreciate in your books!!! And 30 years ago, was the time of our father and mother and believe me when I say, our parents have a better grip over literature than you and I will ever have. For the simple reason that society then was more Arts dominated they had the time to study, cherish and relish literature while we don't !!! Our knowledge of English literature begins with Shakespeare and ends with Dan brown. Hindi does anybody know beyond "Premchand"???
Yes, you say you know but how much, so much that Oscar Wilde becomes "wildee", "Guy DE Maupassant" is "Maupassant" (and not "Maupassa" ! ( Sarcasm here! It is called "maupassa" Wish I could use phonetic symbols here )Anyway for those who think I am still overestimating my writing skills then tell you a fact if Naipaul can think Twain, Joyce ( James), Wilde and Dickens were a piece of trash then even I can think he is not even worth a "fucking horse shit" ( freedom of speech and expression!!!)
And, that is just one example, I can go on citing many; but the post will become too long (as if it weren't!). The point is that we have enough talent in our country and instead of wasting your money in wishing Sunita who in all probability won't even read your sms you could help a child to nurture his talent.
Look, what Kalpana Chawala did! At first I thought she was brought up here, studied here, but when it came to serve she went to USA. And I was wrong, she went because she wouldn't have got the opportunities here and every year she took full responsibility of a Girl Child's education.May be a meagre amount of her earnings but nevertheless she did that.
I respect Sunita and Chawala for their accomplishments, but I am not overawed by them. I pray for Sunita safe return, but I also pray for the safety of her team members. And Never ever am I going to do a "Yagya" for her. She is not the only member of the team nor she is the most important. She being of the Indian origin does not change her position in the space nor does it reduce her risk. The space doesn't even care about her origin better we start doing the same.
Respect her for her individuality, appreciate her for her work not for her origin.
Yesterday, I was watching TV thanks to the TV tuner card borrowed from Varun, and everywhere on the news channel flashed only one name actually two but I will come to that later. "Sunita"! "Sunita"!! "Sunita"!!!
" Who the hell is this Sunita ?", I thought. "Must be some new actress in some Ekta Kapoor Serials"! After watching the whole news I realized it isn't the "Sunita" of Ekta Kapoor, it's even worse, it being, She is "Sunita Williams"!!! Never for a moment I realized that they were talking about the "Sunita Williams"!!!
Now, let me be very clear, I have nothing against her and why should I? She has done a commendable job, I wish her a safe entry and many more success to come. She is the type of daughter that every mother would have! but that's it!!! Let it be the end, Why make her a demigod ? Why? She is given a treatment that even Neil Armstrong would crave for?
And that exactly is my problem, we are obsessed with people of Indian Origin? We go Ga-Ga over their success and make them demigod and what do they do in return? They spit on our face?
"V.S Naipaul" oh he is such a great writer! he is fabulous! bull- shit at my prime I could write better than him! and that's not bragging it's just being modest. Anyway how does he react to our appreciation. To quote him, " 30 years ago Indians were just not literate enough to appreciate my writing". Fucker what's there to appreciate in your books!!! And 30 years ago, was the time of our father and mother and believe me when I say, our parents have a better grip over literature than you and I will ever have. For the simple reason that society then was more Arts dominated they had the time to study, cherish and relish literature while we don't !!! Our knowledge of English literature begins with Shakespeare and ends with Dan brown. Hindi does anybody know beyond "Premchand"???
Yes, you say you know but how much, so much that Oscar Wilde becomes "wildee", "Guy DE Maupassant" is "Maupassant" (and not "Maupassa" ! ( Sarcasm here! It is called "maupassa" Wish I could use phonetic symbols here )Anyway for those who think I am still overestimating my writing skills then tell you a fact if Naipaul can think Twain, Joyce ( James), Wilde and Dickens were a piece of trash then even I can think he is not even worth a "fucking horse shit" ( freedom of speech and expression!!!)
And, that is just one example, I can go on citing many; but the post will become too long (as if it weren't!). The point is that we have enough talent in our country and instead of wasting your money in wishing Sunita who in all probability won't even read your sms you could help a child to nurture his talent.
Look, what Kalpana Chawala did! At first I thought she was brought up here, studied here, but when it came to serve she went to USA. And I was wrong, she went because she wouldn't have got the opportunities here and every year she took full responsibility of a Girl Child's education.May be a meagre amount of her earnings but nevertheless she did that.
I respect Sunita and Chawala for their accomplishments, but I am not overawed by them. I pray for Sunita safe return, but I also pray for the safety of her team members. And Never ever am I going to do a "Yagya" for her. She is not the only member of the team nor she is the most important. She being of the Indian origin does not change her position in the space nor does it reduce her risk. The space doesn't even care about her origin better we start doing the same.
Respect her for her individuality, appreciate her for her work not for her origin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
