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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I, Me and Mr.Socrates

Now my boozing spree has made me a complete broke so don't expect any more of senti - senti post.I am back to my senses and back at my sarcastic best.

Now philosophers and psychologists, say that sarcasm indicates Passive Resistance whatever that means!!! They even go a step ahead to claim that being sarcastic is a symbol to show that you don't respect your partner/peers, but as you know it these philo psychos (read fully psycho) are loads of bullshit.

Anyways, talking of philosophy , I was once in my philosophical mood and contemplating and thinking( read exerting my knees). A few question popped up in my so called brain which I believe is nothing but an enormous reserve of energy, good enough to last for about 50000 years, if exploited. Courtesy: loads of cow-dung that has been condensed and deposited in my little brain. Oh, my God! That's the reason for my great hair(read mane).Only natural fertilizers for my crop (read hair).

So, this fool made a mistake of asking question to himself. And here is an interesting conversation that went on:

Mr Socrates: Do you believe in God?
Me: yes.

Mr Socrates: And God always does good?
Me: right!

Mr Socrates: So, God always does right?
Me: right!!!

Mr Socrates: Then why does he make people die?
Me: So that they may go to heaven....

Mr Socrates: Heaven or Moksha?
Me: Moksha

Mr Socrates: So, you believe in the theory of rebirth?
Me: Ah, Yes (Hesitatingly).

Mr Socrates:Are you sure?
Me: No. I don't believe in rebirth but I believe in Moksha.

Mr Socrates (Smiling):OK. Let us assume that there is no rebirth but Moksha! Fine?
Me: yeah.

Mr Socrates:Then can you tell me, why are some born orphan, handicapped or severely deprived?
Me: Ok. I believe in rebirth and it is due to their past deeds or sins.

Mr Socrates: Ok. Let us assume there is this theory of rebirth?
Me: yeah.( I hate it when he says Ok.)

Mr Socrates: then according to you people are given status or environment, or say deprived of something due to their past sins. please try to understand the feelings.("bhavnao ko samjho").
Me: Yeah.

Mr Socrates: But people usually don't remember their past lives so is it fair that you are being punished for something that you don't even know you have done?
Me: No.

Mr Socrates: Then God does not always does things right?
Me: No!!! May be this Moksha concept is all wrong! May be theory of heaven is right!

Mr Socrates:OK. If you believe in heaven then you believe in hell too, right? There can be no heaven without hell, right?
Me: Yes. ( Another bombshell is coming!!!)

Mr Socrates:Now if go to hell you must stay there till eternity, right?
Me: Yes right.

Mr Socrates:Now let's say you commit one murder, and you go to hell. Then Don't you think if you have to pay till eternity? Is it fair? Even in India life imprisonment is of 14years?
Me: No, but may be after, say 300 years you are shifted to earth or heaven!!!

Mr Socrates:Now by that logic, if you are shifted to Earth we go back to the
theory of rebirth.And if you are shifted to heaven, then according to you even a rapist can enjoy privilege of saint?
Me: No, may be God doesn't exist!

Mr Socrates:Then how do you account for your creation, the universe and everything? What constitutes good or bad?
Me: OK. God exist you idiot! And you are too small a person to understand how this system works.And don't bug my brains anymore!

Mr Socrates: Can I ask one more question?
Me: Shut up. A fool can ask more question than a wise man can answer, and you Dumbo, don't you know that I am speechless even during vivas.

Mr Socrates:Please one more. no more questions on God. Please.
Me: yes, but only one and no God.

Mr Socrates:Why are you losing your hairs and it is turning grey?
Me: Shut up! Will you?