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Monday, February 19, 2007

Awesome letter

This is an awesome article that Hindustan times printed today. It is actually an anonymous letter... first published in the guardian. Thank you HT and The guardian
I reproduce the letter as it is...

A Letter to...... my wife whose lover I long to.....

W e broke up just the once. I’ve never told you why, have I? It’s because I didn’t think I could spend the rest of my life having so little sex. I quickly saw sense. There was more to life than sex. You were too good to lose. Tearful and confused, you took me back. We married.

Our wedding night was a total shock: your elaborate wedding plans didn’t include sleeping with me. You were exhausted. But it was our wedding night, I pleaded. We had the rest of our lives, you explained. Then came the honeymoon. I had naively thought that honeymoons were for lots of sex. Ours wasn’t.

We watched Annie Hall and laughed at the scene where Alvy and Annie see their therapist separately. Alvy complains that they rarely have sex: “Maybe three times a week.” Annie complains that they constantly have sex: “I’d say three times a week.” Just out of interest, can you tell me exactly how many foot strokes equal a ... ? I ask because, by now, I must have given you - at your bidding - more foot massages than most partners receive in a lifetime. Can’t you see how overdrawn your account is at The Bank of Physical Affection?

It is Saturday night. We are in bed, the kids finally asleep. You are watching the film. Will you ever understand how it feels to pale into insignificance beside a mediocre film? “But,” you say, “I’ll never get round to it otherwise.” My point precisely. Because you’re always knackered. I know you work hard for our comfortable lifestyle. But must you run the school PTA? Go to the gym so often?

So you turn out the light, say goodnight. I lie awake and tell you I ache for you. You kiss me and say we will do something about it soon.

I pick up Cosmopolitan. “Pressed for time? Have a quickie!” Our only quickies were whenever you wanted a baby. Every night around the magic date. Sounds like a schoolboy’s dream. Unfortunately, I stopped being a schoolboy about 30 years ago.

Are we only waiting for the children to grow up before we go our separate ways? I know that we will have sex again. But it saddens me to think that we’ve probably (not “definitely” - I live in hope) done all we’re ever going to do in bed. And it upsets me that we’re never going to do anything out of it.

So I ask if sex matters to you. Yes, you say. But not as much as it does to me.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Excerpt from diary

"Broken and broken
again on the sea, the moon
so easily mends.

Im gorging on icecream n
reading haiku instead of
being at college.. must b d
clement weather"
2-JUNE-2005 14:42:57

Well, I wanted to write something for the valentine day (on 14th itself) and that does not include sarcasm. Unable to write something romantic, I was left with no option but to present excerpt from diary/ diaries. I have worked for over 4 days on this post selecting the excerpt and compiling it so as to present you something that is enjoyable without infringing upon privacy.

“I love her”, yes that’s the word I have used for the first time in my life. Funny isn’t it? I am talking about “love” which I don’t know a thing about it!
“Stupidity” might be another word for it or I might be over imagining things and creating my own fantasy.

She had grown much more beautiful and had an extraordinarily beautiful smile. She laughed & her laughter was really music to ears. (Trying to poetize it or whatever it is called.) Her eyes were black and shone like a black pearl; it was indeed very lively and perhaps naughty too and complemented every word that she said in short – very expressive eyes. Her skin was shining and was slightly tanned and made her look as elegant as one can be. Her eyebrows were tweezed and were jet black as was the colour of her hair which she put as a pony tail; they were almost an inch longer than her scapula and had a wavy outlook. Hers was not so perfect nose but it made her look much more adorable especially when she smiled. ……

She suddenly looked in the sky and pointed out to the Orion constellation – her favourite. She pointed out to each star naming them “Nebusa” etc, but after the first four stars I was not interested in the stars anymore for I was looking at the moon itself, speaking to me, and asking me to look up at the stars. How could I ever have done that! I was beside a lovely face, a face of moon glowing bright under the sky illuminating the campus, heart and the soul. I kept staring at her as she continued telling me about the Orion.

She said, “Airport road” and got into the cab and sped away. Out of sight and out of “HER” mind. I watched her go and she didn’t turn back to see me. I was left all alone. I had to spend one and a half hour all alone, on road like a fool, just to be with her for 15 minutes.
After only, she had left and disappeared into the crowd did I realize that I am all, but a great fool.

This girl has me really confused, what does she want from me and what am I thinking of her? She is all over my mind and whenever I want her out of my mind , control and concentrate on other things, she just, out of the blue comes to my life and says “ Hello, how are you?” “Damn it! I hate it; she is making me look like a fool.”

Its 21 days since I spoke to Nadira* she has never thought of giving me a missed call or even SMS me, damn the SMS does she even think of me? No way it’s a crime for her to even think of me! It’s forbidden for her.
Such a non-existent fellow, she gives a damn about me and even probably, there to be bothered when she has no one to turn to.
Damn, I love her, and I may well be doomed for it. It’s terrible, what the heck, kill her for her insensitivity! Just why can’t her thoughts go to hell. “ AAh, damn it! Fuck it!” Get the hell out of her! She is giving me sleepless nights, go to hell. I am, trying to be sincere, stopped ogling at girls! All for the damn girl, for no reason. Hell?

And you know what, I really didn’t miss her much except for the fact every missed call I would get, I expected it to be hers, every number that that displayed on my screen, I wish it would be hers, every music of SMS that would ring my ears made me think… perhaps….. It was hers & obviously I expected her to mail….at least but I didn’t really miss her as much as I used to. The only time I thought of her was in train and before I went to bed, and whenever I was alone and I think I am doing good to forget her. Pretty well indeed!

She asked me too hang up for she needed 9 hours of sleep, at least... that’s what she said to me. I wished her Goodnight and "sweet Dreams". Yes, sweet dreams and she was coolly sleeping and enjoying every ounce of sleep I had!
Miss Nadira, do you ever miss me? Please, do you ever think of me? Damn, just think of me to abuse me, hate me, spite me but do think of me! Do you care for me at all? Do you really want me cry? Am I worth that?
Well, to her it may be even less!!!

Hell, I admit I felt miserable at the thought of her having a boyfriend, yes I was jealous and hurt. Yes, the fact that she might be with her boyfriend, that very thought made me feel like as if I was put on stake and a splinter has been thrust in my chest and pierced my heart, my whole soul was on fire….
And all my big talk about being liberal & broad minded disappeared. I realized for the first time that I am jealous just because he is a “guy” and a friend of “Nadira”. Perhaps the fact some “XYZ” (to me not to HER) has her attention more than me was simply not tolerable. It is something that I have never accepted & I doubt if I could ever learn to accept. I cannot tolerate somebody interfering in my time.
It is not the matter of trust but how could you just not feel jealous, miserable and a vicious lion ready to tear them apart. I mean its guys basic instinct and nothing to do with “trust” but “love” It’s just so human to do so or rather male to do so!

My whole purpose of going to Pune was defeated. Nadira didn’t meet me and I wasted a whole day just waiting and waiting to meet her. I even risked missing my train (from Mumbai to Delhi) or rather intended to risk but she didn’t turn up.
Hell, she just called me up and said she isn’t coming, due to some rain pouring at her place… what about the tears that is on the verge of pouring on my cheeks. Does it have any value?
Obviously not! It’s just some salty water which isn’t even fit for drinking! Surprisingly enough, though I am on the verge of crying now, at that time on phone my voice didn’t betray me, there was however certain amount of frustration in it and not to mention the generous topping of sarcasm but perhaps she never realized it. (Pun intended as I was standing in rain!)** And I am cool about it. No regrets.

During the last few days I went through lots of up and down regarding “Nadira” in particular. I missed her so much but as I try to fill the pages with words. I have nothing to write.
I feel hollow and at the same time I feel so filled and so calm. There is so much to say and so much to write but somehow, somewhere these expressions don’t find a word.
It’s raining outside and cool breeze is blowing over me as I write, giving me a strange cold shiver that is so soothing and all I want is to go and sit in the rain….
I think I will stop this diary business for it is not helping me whatsoever. There area lot of things that I would like to believe but reality bites. And it really and really hurts. The very fact that she is all over my mind is very unpleasant but she does not go away from my thoughts even after trying is even worse. I love her!
Goodbye my diary!!!

PS: * Names have been changed to protect identity.
** The line has been added at the request of original author.
1. The excerpt need not be from the diary of one person and need not be necessarily my own.
2. The excerpt in itself are unedited except for spelling mistakes.
3. The girls are different and the same name has been used to improve comprehensibility and continuity.

4. Dates have been rearranged and modified for the sake of continuity and on request
5. The opinion and views may or may not reflect my views.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Adieu, Anna Nicole Smith

I was shocked and surprised to hear about the death of Ms. Anna Nicole Smith and even more surprised at the amount of media coverage given to the untimely death of Ms. Smith. Wasn't her death given excessive media coverage?

Then, I realised, that Ms. Smith was no ordinary actor, she was much more than that, she was a celebrity, a star. What if she didn't even know "A" of acting, she was still a star. A star that could give any "porn star" a run for money! Who wouldn't with 38 DD-26-38 stats and bare it all attitude! though her 38 DD was a bit disproportionate ( at least to me ) but size does matter doesn't it?

And, she used her assets very well to bag "Playboy playmate of the year1993", two time "Playboy playmate" and " The uncrowned queen of centerfolds". Last but the most important in her list of achievements award - " billionaire J Howard Marshall 89" whom she won over at the age of 26 in 1994.

Her billion dollar cheque was issued a year later with the death of Mr. Marshall but it took 12 long years of legal battle to get it cleared in 2006 ( 12 long years of exile ! I am sorry Ms. Smith).

I am sorry Ms. Smith that you died so young (only 39,what a shame!) and could not live long enough to enjoy your multimillion dollars. After all you tried 12 long years for it or may be even more.

The only solace that comes to me is from media, who adequately covered the "great lady's" untimely death and gave her adequate publicity for which she had an insatiable appetite and always yearned for.

I miss you Anna, without you my nightfall would never be the same. Adieu Anna "Rest in peace" people like you.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My view about Afzal Guru

Enough has been written about Md. Afzal Guru and his trial that there is little left to write something new about it so, it is quite possible that my blog would just appear to be a paraphrase of what you people have already read.
My knowledge about Md. Afzal has mostly come from the newspapers which started following quite late in the trials.What I fail to understand is the basis of "clemency petition" of Md. Afzal. what is the ground for this clemency petition?

1) That he has a wife and a child?
Well Mr. Afzal you should have thought of it earlier.And what about the security guards, who were killed during the attack on parliament? Didn't they have a family? didn't they had a mother, a wife and a child to take care of? Did you think about them?

2) That he is innocent?
If he is really innocent, then Indian state has no business to put him behind bars and that too for 14 years.

3)That he did not face a fair trial?
Then shouldn't he appeal for a "review petition" instead of a "clemency petition"?

4)That death penalty is in itself is not justified?
Yes, that can be case and a very good one too. And I do agree that in an ideal civilized society there is no scope of death penalty. But that's where the problem lies. In an ideal civilised society there would be no crime and disputes and hence no place for judiciary, let alone a grave crime like what Md. Afzal did.
Tell me, should we allow a rabid dog to roam free or allow a tiger turned man-eater to live? Why kill them? Why take their life if you could not give one?
Because they are a threat to human life. People like Md. Afzal are a bigger threat. They are worse than the rabid dog because they have the ability to judge the difference between right and wrong.

5)That the judge pronouncing the sentence could be killed?
"Mr. Human Right" where are you? Is it not unfair and inhuman for being murdered for calling a spade, a spade.

6)That his killing would cause huge acts of voilence across J&K and country?
So, a sovereign state like India should buckle under pressure from a terrorist and make a mockery of its Judiciary and in the process invite more attacks on parliament? What are you suggesting my learned noble sympathisers?
And, as for the most notable sympathiser Mr. Geelani didn't you find any lawyer in the country that you had to hire Md. Afzal defence attorney. And, my request to the defence attorney, now that you are campaigning for clemency, please and please, don't be so ridiculously shameless to say that you are a professional and therefore went to Mr. Geelani and left Md. Afzal to his gallows; think of a better excuse or else stop campaigning for him.

Please, my fellow citizens of India, wake up and stand for justice. Stop making a political issue of Md. Afzal, keep people like "Rahul Mahajan" and "Mr. Geelani " away from the issue.

If Md. Afzal is guilty do not spare him, and if at all he has been framed (which should be clear in case of review petition) don't make him suffer.


  • blogger takes at the face value the judgement of the supreme court.
  • blogger is a final year student in engineering and not a Lawyer.
  • blogger is of the opinion that the case should be reviewed so no one can point a finger to our judiciary