PS: The Blog Header is designed by Ashish - The Future Emperor of the World

Friday, March 27, 2009

A Passing thought...

I admit I am unable to understand finance... And I know I can never understand finance. How can I? I am not able manage my own finances, how can I even think of knowing about the finances of companies.

And regarding investment ... the less said the better. I have almost invested 33% of my current life hoping that I would get return... [Read: the girl would return my love... :'( ] But till now the company seems to be in perpetual losses. Oh' Sushmita Sen where art thou? So, imagine what a poor investor I would be.

They say, your portfolio must be a blend of both risk free and low interest investment & high risk and high gain investments....
But my story is like Lehman Bros. You know it's looks big and future is so bright but only the insiders know it's crumbling!!!

Man, I am like a pauper at the Wall Street... Ok Let's make that BSE. Man the market-price of even simple average low yielding government PSU Allahabad bank is beyond my reach. Just like my love life ... Even simple stupid, smart, cute sexy hot gals are like Rashmi, Rita, Sita,Shivangi, Sheetal etc are asking a lot. And Don't you go by the good terms mentioned above. You know they just might read this post and moreover, How can a girl be called UGLY?

So, the point is my pocket as well as my love life are into perpetual recession. And which one is more severe I dread to answer the question...

One thing is clear, that like finance theories, which tell you a lot, but give you contradicting views, so that you are ultimately more confused than earlier, theories of getting a gal is equally perplexing. Consider this, while one of the Gays ( gay means happy in old English and they are gay because they have a gal) propose that once you get a gal all your financial troubles are gone. The other proponents argue that the expenditure of a guy rises exponentially with the increase in number of girlfriends.

So being with such gays doesn't help a fool like me! I mean whatever may be the market condition the small investor always loses money and so is the case with me!!!

Now the whole world is busy licking their wounds from the stock market and so are the cool girls who were dumped by their boyfriends. [yeah I hate admit it but they found me too dumb :( ] I want to say the very same words that my friend wanted to say to the Senior Lehman Brother executive when he was rejected by him in an interview. [ He too was found too dumb by the Lehman Bros. Actually, these golden words came when he was on a high after he heard that the Lehman had gone bankrupt.]

"I may be too dumb. I may know nothing but I can surely bet had you chosen me as your CEO,[Boy, he a CEO!!!] I certainly wouldn't have left you half as bad! MotherF@#%er, you think you can hire me? Do you have enough money to pay the electricity bill of your AC!!!"

Did you hear that gals? You think you are so much in demand, don't you? So did the financial analysts. Heard about the Sub-prime crisis? The demand they created was an artificial one, just like yours. You know they thought the prospects are good, and gave credit to ones who didn't deserve. Just like you!!! And, now when they are crying ... I thought it was my duty to warn you.

The investors say the market was full of funny money. "Funny Money!!!" it's neither funny nor is there any "money". The investors got a return of more than 100% from the market when it was on upswing. They were on cloud nine. What they forgot was the law of gravitation!!! Just think over it gals, how long would a market sustain itself to give a return of more than 100% when the industry on which it is based on, is growing on a rate of 10 to 15%. How long can a guy give you a commitment of 100% when the relationship on which it is based on, is growing at a rate of 10 to 15%?

I know I have talked about it in my very first post about two and half years ago ... yet I find it truly amazing even now...

It's quite amazing that Finance guys always talk about market efficiency, where there is free flow of information, and prices reflect all information and stuff, and then lament it is never the case. Isn't it surprising that it is the Finance guys and us who made this market so complex and entangled. And then it is again the Finance guys, who are working overtime and spending nights to get simple information out of it! And the rest of us. are still trying to figure out what went wrong!!!
Just like our relationships! First we all made a mess of our life. And then we are working overtime and spending nights to get simple joys out of it! And the rest of us are still trying to figure out what went wrong!!!

I said it all in a jest, but in fact one of the biggest failure in my life has been my inability to explain the ones whom I care for, that Even I can do something without any self-interest!!!

PS: 1)With due credit to my new roomies and their never ending blabbering about finance that has given me a constant headache.
2) If I am murdered after this post. You know whom to look for- A Female Financial Analyst, age 18-23, a recovering militant feminist, possibly with specks and extremely yummy!!!
3) If I am dead please send my regards and undying love to S.S.!!! :D

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Better Half!!!

September 5

My dear Asha,

This letter is just a formality as your mother has commanded. Still as I am compelled to address you I have picked up my pen, ofcourse this little instrument + this paper is presented by your Mom, just for your sake. You will be surprised that after handing these weapons to me she is busy and gobbling her meal with your Aunt and I being a silent spectator, is forced to write this so called letter. And do you know why? Just because I have taken my lunch and cannot accompany them. Finally, I have only one choice - that is to write this letter.

You will not believe, though my head is down but my mind and eyes are at the movement of their mouth and the nose is enjoying the smell of those hot meals. Nevertheless, I am not going to give the details of the menu otherwise you too will throw this so called letter instead of reading it.

Rest is O.K.
- Dad

***** On the very same page ... at the back of the letter...*****

My dearest,

You know, tommorow is Teej - dry fast for 24 hour awaits me.

And worst of it the teacher's day is on the very 5th Sept. Your father has not given me any special treat and instead of he is criticizing my Paratha Bhujeeya

Your Mom

PS: 1) No part of this post should be reproduced in any form whatsoever.
2) For those who don't understand what a Teej is. Plz google or search for it on Wiki.
3) The "Mom" happens to be a teacher in a Govt. school so her day is supposed to be very taxing and tiring on September 5.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Another attempt at poetry

You think it's funny
Oh Boy, it's not all that sunny

The tears don't come out of my eyes
And I always stifle my hoarse cries

I see my efforts go vain
And I do feel pain

All hopes gone for a toss
And doors marked with red cross

No matter how hard I try
My dream are still gonna die

The tears don't come from my eyes
And I have stifled my hoarse cries

I am tired of putting a strong face
I am sick of this stupid race

Like a fallen crown
I want to break down

But, This is not me
This is what I refuse to be!!!

PS: 1) This is probably the most pathetic post by me.
2) I don't know what I wrote except the last two lines.
3) I was trying to make (not write) a poem and the result is in front of you.
4) As mentioned before I suck at poetry!!!