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Saturday, June 14, 2008

What If?

One of the most efficient ways of killing time, or should I say slaughtering time is to day dream. And it can be one of the most effective way of "leg pulling". So, when I met "Sid" on 8th probably for the last time since I am relocating, we had those "What If...?" rounds.

In case you want a description of "Sid", I describe him in one sentence. His Girlfriend married his boyfriend. Anyways, Sid asked me three question which are particularly of interest.

Q1. What if you married?
Q2. What if you had kids?
Q3. What if your kids were like you?

Ans 1:
To begin with, it is rather difficult for him to see me married. And before you jump in your chair, we are just friends. And yes he is straight. For him, I am the kid brother type, the sweet teddy bear type material and not a "marriage guy" or "my boyfriend" type. An idea which I strongly disagree.

For all the attractive females out over there, the question was put up for an open invite. It doesn't matter whether you are committed or married or whatever. The only condition is that the time you are going to spend with me I need your absolute and undivided attention, the rest of the time you are free to do whatever you like! two time, three time, I just don't care!!! After all I started to blog to impress the gal and some chicks. Till date my score is still zero so please help. Your contribution is appreciated and greatly revered!!!

Ans 2:
Now the "if" in this question doesn't regard to my capabilities. FYI, and to the benefit of my female readers I want to make clear in no uncertain terms that I am not technically challenged. In other words, there has been no "manufacturing defect" with me and I come with a life-time guarantee, until and unless critical parts are intentionally damaged or severed. No replacements in any case. Please read the offer document carefully before you apply.

The question pertains to the fact do you really want to clean the shit at middle of the night? Come on gals, do you really want to loose your great figure and want to be called an "Aunt" or "Aunti" all for a damned bald baby? Do you really want that your career, your hobbies, you friends and all the things you really care about take a back stage because some stupid bald classical singer has started to sing?

Ans 3:
Heck, Kids!!! and then the one like me! I won't even wish that for my enemy! I know it might sound exaggerating but you should really ask my parents about it. Every time, I wish my Dad a "Good Morning"! I get the same reply, "Son, after having a son like you I am sure that none of my mornings are ever going to be good!!!" The world is already a very complicated and bad place. We shouldn't complicate it any further, right?

The day I was born, I stopped an old woman from going to the church, spoiled a Christmas party, and kept awake my whole family. My parents had no clue that their child is a devil incarnate, and is a result of "law of averages" Don't worry, if I have a baby that is just like me, either I am going to commit suicide or I am going to kill the baby. And killing the baby would just be a self defense!!!


shikha said...

kill the baby?????now that is scary

falcon said...

who the baby???