PS: The Blog Header is designed by Ashish - The Future Emperor of the World

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Pissed off with Birthdays

About three to four years I received a mail from a birthday alarm link from a gal. I ignored it and surprisingly she was offended! Now, that damn link has come to haunt me again. My inbox is cluttered with more than twenty such links asking me to fill in my birthday details so that they could be notified that it's my birthday!!!

Thanks but no thanks!!! I am frustrated with the whole birthday shit. "So, when is your birthday?", they ask.
"25th December"
"Oh on Christmas!"
"No, it's on Good Friday. Heck It's Christmas you moron. December 25 is Christmas, damn it!"

The way I see it there are only five kind of people you know.
1. The people whom you wish that they remember your birthday and they wish you.
2. People whom you wish don't remember your birthday but they do.
3. People whom you wish they remember your birthday but they don't.
4. People whom you think they should forget your birthday and but they don't.
5. People who remember your birthday after hearing it from others.

Now type 1 are the easiest to deal with. There is no formality, no thank you, no need for any gifts and parties. Unfortunately, these kind are a rare lot.

Type 2, people are the ones who burn a hole in your pocket. They will ask for a party, get you the cake and other shit, and force you to celebrate. You are forced to say thank you to them, while wishing secretly that they were dead so you would be able to spend time with Type 1 .

Type 3, people are a troublesome lot. They are the one who will spoil your entire day. I mean as per general consensus, this day is supposed to be a special one but they ruin your day. Every passing moment increases your restlessness and misery for you expect their call but they don't. And then you feel miserable by the time the day is over.

Type 4, These are the ones most difficult to handle because they make you feel confused. When they wish, you pray that the your birthday must be dropped from the calendar. It's such an uncomfortable position. Secretly, you wish that they do remember it! You have, at one time shared great relationship with them, now things have changed. And now, their wishing you takes you back to the time you always cherished but is now impossible.

Just to make my point clear, "we parted our ways" ("we parted our ways" is my love version. My version "I was abandoned as a stray rabid dog".) on 25 December 2006. Now, in all these years I have tried so hard to make a conversation but my effort has been brutally crushed by the great weapon, and "extremely painful silence". Yet on this day
she always scraps me "her birthday wishes" (Mind you it's her. I am not gay :))I would like to think that she remembers my birthday but the truth is that it's the most important day in her life. It's the day of her freedom. It's the day she got the salvation from the torture of tolerating me. Quite frankly, tolerating me for five minutes is like being given a 3rd degree torture for 30 years. That's another story! But then why wish me? Why the heck do it ? What the hell does it signify?

Type 5, are the people who wish you for sake of wishing you. And then ask for treat, knowing fully well that they won't get any. Don't these people have something to eat at home. Thanks for the wishes but your Birthday would be more happy without them. Man, aren't we all sick and tired of saying"Thank you" a thousand times. And thanks to this great "chirkut" site called Orkut. You have an additional burden of sending extra "Thank You" scraps.

The Best way to avoid it is change your birth month 14 days prior to your birthday. That ways your birthday is still visible to those dumb idiots while they don't realize that the month has changed. No one suspects, and Orkut birthday reminders is bypassed.

Come on guys, you got to accept if they were less idiots to irritate, you would live longer. Worst, of these lots are the ones who say two days later to your birthday, " I remembered X birthday and Y birthday but you never told yours."

"Duffer, if you know that much don't you realize that if I gave you any importance, I would have told you. So, why don't you forget to show your face like you did two days ago."

In my case it is even worse, they say, "Yaar I went to a party and then I forgot it completely. Sorry, I couldn't come to your flat!"

"Sorry, but I never invited you in first place!"

And, then again it is chore to wish these people on their birthdays. How many am I supposed to remember?

And for girls telling your birthday is telling your age!!! Simple, Just casually ask the day of the week on which they were born. Now you know, their approximate age. A simple calculation would give their birth year. If you don't know the calculation you could always google for calendars. And what's better many of the gals sport their zodiac year. Google for chinese calendar and there you get the age.

For eg: My profile shows "OX", Approximate age 21-24. Birthday December 25. OX corresponds to only one year that is 1985. There it is.

Come on guys, do you remember your birthday? Do you remember your parents, siblings ( no cousins), spouse, child, Current BF/GF birthday? In 99.99% cases the answer is yes. Why? because they are important to us. So, you'll remember my birthday if I am important to you? Why the heck do you need a birthday alarm or reminder?

And, before you make a grumpy face when I don't wish you on your birthday. I need to tell you one thing I remember my dog's birthday.
Mahi And Torque - December 18, 2003
Lucy- May 22, 1999.

I think you are wise enough to understand!!!

And Lastly,For Heaven sake Do me a favour and please don't spam me with those stupid birthday alarms!


Raghav Goyal said...

(laughs)... it can be real irritating having your mail box filled we crap of no relevance whatsoever though i myslef have to depend on online dairies to wish people their bdays...(i forgot to wish my own parents on thier b'days... someone rightfully said i should be ashamed to be called a son)...but whatever... the point is, it was a good post alltogether... you have nice way of showing your feeling with the correct amount of hint of sarcasm... i apreciate sarcasm the most coz i am a sarcastic person myself...

falcon said...

thx man will visit ur blog soon!

Raghav Goyal said...

will surely wait for your insights on my blog... though i think i should warn you, there are some post you may not quite appreciate...coz you had to be here to do so....

chetan vikram said...

ha ha ha.....

this one has truly given me an idea to enjoy this whole day of sunday... 5 types of pple, wow... i had never thought of it. and the silent love story that failed to materialise....

ashish bro,,, u r gr8!!